A pair of patrons at Paddy Murphy's Irish Pub & Restaurant in Orlando took their public display of affection a little too far when they started having sex in full view of other customers.
32-year-old Jeremie Calo and his date, Tiffani Lynn Barganier, were casually dining on the establishment's patio when the mood suddenly struck them and they decided to hump each others' brains out right there on the table.
Several parents and their children were also on the patio at the time and didn't think it was very appropriate for Calo and Barganier to be boning while they were trying to eat their bacon and cabbage.
The manager was notified, but his request for the couple to cease fornicating initially fell on deaf ears.
"Compose yourself, pay your tab or I'll call the police," Tom Murphy reportedly told Calo, to which he responded by writing out "NO" on his bill and trying to leave. An altercation ensued, and Calo was eventually subdued and held until the police showed up.
In a signature Floridian twist, the couple was not charged with public indecency or lewdness as all of the witnesses declined to give police a statement.
Calo and Barganier were instead booked on a charge of defrauding an innkeeper, and have been banned from Paddy Murphy's for a year.
Murphy told police that he directed Calo to "Compose yourself, pay your tab or I'll call the police." Calo, however, signed his check "NO" and then scuffled with a restaurant employee when he tried to leave without paying.
Murphy and the worker restrained Calo until the arrival of cops, who arrested Calo for defrauding an innkeeper.
But Calo and Barganier dodged charges related to their alleged public lewdness on Paddy Murphy's patio. "The parents of the young children that observed Calo and Barganier having sex declined to write statements regarding their observations," noted police. The report does not further detail why the witnesses opted not to provide statements.
Calo and Barganier were both "trespassed from Paddy Murphy's for a period of one year," reported Officer Anthony Wongshue.