Life Style: How to tell your SO you aren't ready to have a child

By FnF Correspondent | PUBLISHED: 19, Aug 2019, 16:50 pm IST | UPDATED: 28, Aug 2019, 15:46 pm IST

Delhi: Your partner is ready for a child, but you would like to delay parenthood for some time. In other words, you and your SO are not really on the same page when it comes to raising a child. Of course, having a baby has always figured prominently on your priorities list; it's just that you do not feel that this is the right time for you to bring a child into the family. Well, this could prove to be a tricky issue in your relationship if you do not make efforts to broach the subject to your partner in a caring, sensible and empathetic manner. Here are some suggestions regarding how best to deal with the sensitive issue:

What you want
Be clear about what you want from the relationship. Explain gently the reasons why you think it won't be right for you to become a parent in the foreseeable future. Be honest about your apprehensions - maybe you feel that you need to focus more on your career at the moment or maybe you feel that both of you should wait till you have substantive savings in your bank accounts. Or maybe you are just afraid of pregnancy. Whatever the case may be, spell it out; don't keep him in the dark.

Listen to him
He might have his own reasons for wanting to have a child now. So listen to his arguments patiently. After all, having a baby can't be a unilateral decision - it's a collaborative process involving both partners. So, you need to hear each other out without forcing individual views on each other. Basically, both of you should have the right reasons for wanting or not wanting to start a family. And none of the partners should be guilted into saying, 'Yes.'

Ask for time
Tell your partner that none of you should be rushing to make a decision. Nor should you cave in to family or peer pressure. To be precise, tell your SO that you need time to work through your concerns. You'd also need time to prepare mentally, after sorting out your priorities list in life. Suggest a practical or a reasonable timeline that can help you both get ready for a child in your life.